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Monday, September 15, 2008

Confession

I didn't want to bring this up on any of the boards because I don't feel like dealing with negative comments or people bringing to my attention how wrong I am... and because this is MY blog, I can say whatever I want and I don't have to take input from anyone.

I was catching up on some of my shows last week (because I somehow managed to miss all of the season closers) and ended up bawling my eyes out to Private Practice. It was the one where one of the mothers was by herself because her hubby died and she was freaking out, then there was the mother that was homeless and holding up a liquor store for money for the baby, and the last mother gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy and was so upset that it wasn't a girl. I've watched Private Practice in the past, so I know what it's all about, but I've never had this reaction to the show before. I was doing the Ugly Cry for probably the last 10 minutes of the show. I was so sad for the first mother, having to do it all on her own without her hubby there for support. I was beyond annoyed at the second mother; WTH did you let yourself get KU if you don't even have a home to live in? And I was seriously pissed at the last mother. She was blessed with a perfect baby boy and she literally said that Addison needed to shove him back up there and pull out a girl. Think whatever you want, I realize that a TV show is kind of a dumb thing to start crying over, but it is what it is.

I got to thinking about all those wonderful, amazing, loving women on the boards that want children so bad they ache, some of whom have been waiting a long time, and these are the women that that get KU; the irresponsible, unappreciative, unprepared, self-centered women. I was so depressed for the next couple of days knowing that I should be well into my 28th week, but instead, I'm sitting here at 5DPO on my fourth cycle TTC after my last miscarriage. I'm so sad for myself, and I'm so sad for my wonderful Forties who are having trouble. You girls are in my constant prayers.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

totally understandable to cry at a TV show. it happens to me ALL the damn time! and for the record, i agree with you - it amazes me sometimes who gets KU and who doesn't. i heart you lovf-er...you're the sweetest!

♥Tara said...

muahs!!!!
and you've been tagged!

Sarah said...

Step away from this show my love. I don't want you to cry! (Sniff)