Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Differences

I’ve been meaning to sit down and write this post for a while, and I’d better do it now before a) mommy brain gets the best of me and I forget and b) I won’t have any time to do it because I’ll be a SAHMommy!!!!!1!!!

My birth experience didn’t exactly go as I’d hoped, but you have to know your limits and decide what is best for you and your baby; a healthy baby being the ultimate goal. There are many things about that day that I wouldn’t change for the world. Looking back on it now, however, there are a couple of things I wish had gone down differently. I’m going to log them down here so that I remember for #2:

A very good friend of mine advised me to get a mirror so I could see my baby being born. She has two girls and swears that watching them come into the world are the two most incredible memories. I fully intended to do this, but for some reason, completely spaced. I really wish that I hadn’t forgotten. I know my hospital provides them to mothers who ask for it. At least MyLovf has that memory. I would've also liked to have a video, or at least pictures. Yeah, I know it's kind of weird that I would want that kind of documentation, but I only had the one view point and I would've loved to see it from like, the doctors' perspective.

I obviously couldn’t change the water break; baby decided that he was ready to come out NOW, but I really wanted to labor at home as long as possible. Unfortunately, my doctor advised me to get to the hospital ASAP if my water broke on its own. Don’t I have all the luck? I was admitted before I had any real contractions and ended up being really bored for a long time. I hated being hooked up to all the monitors. I wanted to be up and walking around, but they wouldn’t let me get out of bed due to the break. I think that if I had been able to get up and move, I could've gotten the labor moving faster and maybe would have avoided the pitocin (aka The Devil's Nectar). It was the longest 18 hours of my life. Not to mention that they wouldn’t let me eat anything while I was laboring. I’m so glad that we stopped to get something to eat on the way to the hospital! **side story - I can’t remember if I included this in my birth story post, and I’m too lazy to go back and look for it, so I’m putting it down here. Sorry if it’s a repeat** My water broke around 5:00 and I hadn’t eaten anything since about 11:00 that afternoon. Needless to say, I was hungry. So MyLovf drove me to Jack in the Box! We order and pull up to the window where he proceeds to tell the workers standing there that I’m in labor and all I wanted before going to the hospital was a teriyaki bowl! The looks on their faces were hysterical! We ate our food in the parking lot before heading off. He lovfs telling that story.

One thing I for sure wouldn’t change was the decision for MyLovf and I to be alone in the delivery room; hands down best decision ever. I let my family know beforehand and while I still got the occasional pleading look, it made for a lot less drama when the time came to kick everyone out. Of course, that didn’t stop my mother from begging me one last time to let her stay. “If I promise not to look, can I please stay with you?” were her exact words. How freaking annoying was that question? For one thing, I know she would’ve ended up seeing everything, it’s not like you can avoid it in the delivery room! That is not something I want my mother to see. Second, how unfair would that have been? She gets to stay, but my grandmother can’t and let’s not even talk about how hurt my MIL would’ve been. Of course, I held firm and told her no, that it was very important to MyLovf and I that it be just us. She left, but very reluctantly. I didn’t care much for her feelings at the time; I was getting ready to push a watermelon out of my hoo-ha. Not having an audience allowed for me to totally give in to my body and let it do what it was made for, and when Little Man entered our lives, it allowed for MyLovf to be in the moment and not censor what he was feeling because there were other people around. He embarrasses easily. It's funny that he married me, because I'm always doing silly things, like twirling down the aisles at the grocery store, or singing and dancing for Little Man while shopping for clothes. He pretends he doesn't know me, so then I have to be extra lovey dovey in the check out line so that people KNOW he's with the crazy chick ; )

One thing that I will always wonder about is whether I might have been able to prevent Little Man's first hospital admission at just four days old. I'm thinking that perhaps I put too much stock in the opinion of the lactation consultant, someone who may or may not have had any other medical background (can't remember). Those little orange pee crystals were a huge red flag that Little Man was dehydrated and my milk (well, colustrum at the time) was not cutting it. I was made to believe by the consultant that they didn't mean anything and not to be alarmed by their presence. I understand that breastfeeding is very important, but sometimes, like in my case, it just isn't enough and formula has to be introduced. If I had known that, I don't think his jaundice would have progressed to the point of hospitalization. The nurses that looked after Little Man while he was there said that the consultant had given me bad information and were peeved that she pushed "no formula" knowing that my supply wasn't adequate. They said that we should've been supplementing until my milk came in. So let my experience be a lesson to all the mamas-to-be that read my blog: tiny orange pee crystals = dehydrated baby. Get some formula into that kid stat! If you want to EBF, you can totally cut out the formula once your milk comes in.

I've heard over and over again that the shower you take in the hospital after giving birth is one of the best you'll ever take. Not so for me. It caused me more anxiousness than relaxation because it was the first time that I let Little Man out of my sight since he was born. Of course, his daddy was with him, but try rationalizing this with a new mother. LOL I sped through it and then didn't bother to dry my hair or put makeup on. The pictures of me leaving the hospital are terrible and shall never be seen by anyone other than MyLovf and I. I will definitely take more time with the first PP shower after #2!

A lot of the things we brought to the hospital were unnecessary. They provide pretty much everything you need while you're there. So my bag for #2 will consist of: camera (still or video), lap top, warm socks ('cause it gets really cold in there), snacks, toiletry/makeup bag, and something comfy to go home in. I won't worry about bringing jammies or anything because I lived in the hospital gowns the entire time. Oh, and I will snag a couple of the swaddling blankets. Nothing you can buy in retail stores matches the awesomeness of the hospital blankets.

3 comments:

Rachel H. said...

It's so funny how we look at things and want to change how certain things went...I know that there are some things that I would do differently, as well, especially the items that I packed in my bag. I had too much stuff, and I didn't use a large majority of it! What a waste?!

Kelly and Natalie said...

My hospital bag was out of control stocked with stuff! I didn't even use most of it. Like I brought my hair dryer and straightener. I couldn't even stand long enough to do any of that and I could have cared less! I will most definitely under pack the next time!

And I still wonder to this day if there was anything I could have done to prevent Natalie's early birth. Not that I did anything wrong, but I think I'm gonna be overly cautious in my next pregnancy!

Mitzi G.!! said...

what a great post!