Friday, June 26, 2009

We got a new car!

FINALLY! We've been borrowing my mom & dad's car since Little arrived and have been searching frantically for our own wheels. Well, yesterday we picked it up! It's the coolest car ever! I'm so excited! We got a 2007 Dodge Nitro for a screamin' deal : )

I can breathe easy now. We won't have to strap Little to the bed of my truck! LOL

Friday, June 19, 2009

Little's Birth Story

My little Wiggler came three weeks early! We were taken by complete surprise; I hadn't packed my hospital bag yet, talked to a pediatrician, or purchased any nursing bras/tops!

::picture a flashback graphic of some kind::

On Wednesday, I decided that I would much rather spend time with MyLovf, who had the day off, than go in to work. We had a pretty fun day; had an awesome breakfast, then went to Best Buy to look for a new camera and Target for some random stuff. After that, we came home and cleaned up a little bit and then I laid down on the couch at 5:00pm to take a nap. I had only been sleeping for about 15 minutes when I felt a huge gush! I popped up off the couch like a jack-in-the-box and ran to the bathroom yelling at MyLovf that my water had broken. He didn't believe me at first; but after he saw that my panties and jeans were completely soaked, he called my doctor to let him know what happened. I got to work putting my bag together, called my mom, texted some friends with an update and we left the house.

We stopped on the way to get some dinner and I'm so glad we did, they didn't let me eat anything once I was admitted! So mean...

We got to the hospital at about 7:00pm and they checked me. I was only dilated 1 cm and was 70% effaced, but they had to let me stay because of the water break. I started having contractions almost right after it broke; they felt like bad menstrual cramps, nothing I couldn't handle. We got all set up in the room and a nurse came in with an IV pole and two bags full of... something. She said that I had to get antibiotics every 4 hours even though I had passed my GBS and all other tests just because I wasn't quite 37 weeks yet (hello, we're talking one day shy)! So she set up an IV and HOLY MOLY did she suck! She must've poked my hand a thousand times before it was finally set up. I hated that damn thing, I asked like every 10 minutes if they could take it off. I was checked again at 3:00am, Thursday morning, and I was only 2 centimeters. The contractions were coming on pretty hard, but I could still breathe through them. Then they started pitocin on low (not something I was particularly happy about).

They only let me go a half hour before checking me again. I wasn't making any progress so they upped the pitocin a little more. By 4:00am I was in some serious pain. I was having to lean into MyLovf and my mom for every single contraction and I was crying pretty much the entire time. The nurses kept asking if I would consider the epi, so I had them check me again before I made my decision. When she said that I was at 3 cm, I threw in the towel. I think that if she said 6 or 7 cm, I probably would've been able to stick to my goal and go through with the med free birth, but when she said 3, I deflated. The pitocin made the contractions h.o.r.r.i.b.l.e, but it wasn't doing it's job in making me dilate or regulating my contractions. I asked for the epi then. The anesthesiologist told me all about what to expect when he administered the stuff, but it in no way prepared me for the pain! It was the worst I'd experienced up to that point (and that's saying something)! It burned and I cried; I cried that hard, ugly, snot-running-from-your-nose cry. Of course I couldn't move, and the contractions I was having in the mean time seemed to never end! I leaned hard into my nurse (who was fantastic) and buried my face into her scrubs till the dude was done back there. After it was placed, it took about 15 minutes to kick in, and once that happened I could breathe again. MyLovf told me later that he was ready to get up off the couch and deck the anesthesiologist because he was making me cry.

The pitocin was upped again and at 5:00am, an hour after I got the epi, I had gone to 5 cm and was "very thin". Yay! Finally some progress! I was able to sleep in between checks, which was nice. I was so very tired! They woke me up again at 10:00am and finally said those magic words... "You're complete! Time to start pushing!" And I thought to myself, "I'm about to have a baby!... OMG! I'm about to have a BABY!"

But wait! I couldn't push right away (even though I wanted to) because my doctor wasn't at the hospital! I had to wait a good 20-25 minutes for my doc to get there before I was able to get down to business. I felt this amazing pressure and told my mom that I wasn't sure if I could wait for the doc and she ran out to find a nurse. Luckily, my doc had just arrived and he came right into my room. I pushed for a little while; probably about 15 minutes, when he said that he was worried that I might be too tired to continue on my own. It was an "aw HELL naw!" moment. I had just woken up and I felt rested, I knew I could push for a while longer! I think it was because I still wasn't feeling much because of the epi. I was determined to get my baby out without a c-section! I went another 10 minutes before he said that he could see Little's head and that he should be out very soon! I pushed a couple more times and then I looked up at MyLovf, who was holding back my left leg and he had this expression on his face that melted me. I've never seen him that way before. I about lost it; I had to look away from him and completely refocus to get my Little Man out. A couple more pushes and he was here! Born at 10:56am; 6 pounds, 11 ounces and 19 inches long.

It's funny looking back on it now because I had always thought that people were exaggerating when they talked about the instant love that just floods through you the moment you set eyes on your baby. It's totally true, believe me! They put Little on my chest and I was overwhelmed. He is absolutely the most beautiful thing I've ever laid my eyes on. I looked over at MyLovf and that look was back on his face. We stared at each other for a minute and then stared at our little miracle for a while before they took him away to weigh and clean him up. He gave me the most amazing kiss and then went over to watch what they were doing to our Little while I got stitched up. I ended up with a 2nd degree tear and they had to use the vacuum to get him out : (

MyLovf was completely amazing through the whole thing. There's no way that I could've done this without him by my side. He held me and encouraged me through the eleven hours of labor before the epi (even though I know it killed him to see me in that much pain) and was my biggest cheerleader while I was pushing. I've fallen in love with him all over again, and in a completely different way than the first time. I know he's going to be an amazing dad, he loves our little boy so much!

So that's the story of my Little's birth. It was totally the opposite of everything I was hoping for, but in the end a happy, healthy baby and mama are all that matters!

They ended up keeping me in the hospital an extra day because I was running a low grade fever through the night. But I was all better by Saturday and we were able to go home : )

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Out of Order

I was gonna finish up my post with Little's birth story today, but we were forced into the ER on Monday and I've been working on this post and that one simultaneously. The birth story can wait another day or two, right now I need to focus on getting my little one well again and let people know why I'm asking for prayers.

A little background first: the day we were discharged from the hospital, we were shown tiny little orange crystals in Little's diaper from his pee. We were told that they were normal and not to freak out if we saw them later. So we take him home and end up seeing them in just about every diaper change, but we didn't think anything of it because we had been told they were "normal".

On Monday afternoon, we took him for his first check up where the RN that checked him out said that he looked a bit jaundiced. She sent us to get a blood draw and they told us that we should have the results back by the end of the day or early the next morning. We took him to the lab where I had my first Mom Breakdown. I don't know what that lady was doing to his poor little heel but it was making him scream bloody murder. She took forever and he just cried and cried and I cried along with him.

We didn't hear by the end of the day what the results were, but we had another appointment for a re-check with the pedi on Tuesday morning. As soon as we walked in the door, they turned us right back around and had us take Little to the ER because his bilirubin levels were scary high. I guess they had a power outage that didn't allow for the lab to get in touch with the pedi right away. We really should have taken him in on Monday for treatment.

They were waiting for us when we got to the hospital and admitted him to the Continued Care Nursery right away. I was able to feed him once more before they took him to run some labs, get an IV in him, and then get set up under the bili lights. His level at the lab on Monday was 22. When he was admitted, it was 28. They ran labs again at 2:00pm and they were at 25. The final count of the day was 22 at 10:00pm. At the end of the day on Wednesday, his level was only down to 21; so they're going down slowly. I'm not sure where they need to be before they'll let him come home. The nurse that's taking care of him in the nursery said that the highest level she'd ever seen was 30. Our little dude almost tied the record. Freaks me the hell out.

I'm still feeding him regularly so that my supply can build up, but they're having to supplement with formula because I'm not producing enough to fully sustain him yet. It explains so much; Little would just cry and cry and I couldn't figure out why. He was fed, burped, changed, and warm, but he would cry so hard he shaked sometimes. Now I know it was because he was starving. I wish someone would've told us that those damn little pee crystals were a very bad sign if you started seeing them regularly. They meant that he was getting more dehydrated by the day. My milk took it's sweet time coming in; I'm barely up to an ounce after pumping for 30 minutes. I thought he was getting enough to eat because he pulled away, but he must've been doing that because the boob went dry. My poor sweet baby.

We spent Wednesday running back and forth to the hospital. Thank goodness it's so close to us! We feed him every three hours and spend about an hour there at a time, so one of every three hours is spent with our little man. I would stay the whole day, but for two hours, I would just be staring at him while he bathes under the blue lights. I can't pick him up or anything, so I figure my time would be better spent getting things ready for him to come home. We were left with a whole lot to do because he decided to come early.

I miss my Little so much. It killed me to walk away from the hospital on Tuesday and Wednesday nights. If I could've figured out a comfortable way to sleep on two metal folding chairs, I think I would've spent the night with him! I was up bright and early Wednesday morning and went to feed him again. We had to come back home right away though because Little peed all over his daddy! Diaper fail! LOL : ) I did much better on Wednesday. I know this whole thing is harder on his daddy and I than it is on him. He sleeps most of the day and when he's awake, we're there to feed him, burp him and change him. By the time we leave, he's asleep again. The nurse told us that if his levels keep dropping like they have been, we should be able to bring him home late Thursday. I'm praying that comes true. Being home without him feels... wrong. He's only been in our lives for a week, but it feels like he's always been here. So to have him gone is just gut-wrenching. I cannot wait till he can come home with us.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Will update soon

We have a lot going on right now. Prayers would be appreciated.

Monday, June 8, 2009

Had a tough weekend : (

For once, I'm glad the weekend is over. I think this is the first time that I've ever welcomed the coming of a Monday!

Friday was just an all around FAIL for me. I wasn't feeling 100%, but decided to come into work anyway; I want to save as much sick time as I can for my leave. My carpool buddy picked me up at the house and about half way to work, he informs me that he won't be able to take me home. Yeah. Great. Thanks-a-fucking-lot. Jerk. I figured I'd deal with that later, after I ate my breakfast of heavenly vending machine bear claw. Only, the damn machine didn't have any bear claws! It didn't have donuts, it didn't have danish. I had nothing, the whole bottom row was empty! Later on Mr. Asshat Carpool Buddy calls to tell me his brilliant plan! He can drop me off at a grocery store near the freeway and DH can come pick me up from there! Isn't that such an awesome idea!? fail again. Sorry. WTH was he thinking? He's married and has kids, how the hell would he feel if someone did that to HIS very pregnant wife?! I tell him to forget it and that DH will come get me from work (which incidentally, added another half hour to my day). I have officially canceled our arrangement. He knows I'm pissed at him, and I'm ok with that. I figure I'll want my own transportation from here on out anyway. I'm full term this week and don't want to have to count on him for anything if something should happen while I'm at work.

Yesterday DH promised that we would paint the rest of the upstairs after he came home from selling a bunch of crap at a car swap meet. I had everything all ready to go when he got home, but do you think we actually painted? Nope. He was too tired. We spent the entire rest of the day on the couch watching TV. Not normally something I would complain about, but when you have a shit load of stuff to take care of before baby gets here, any down time seems like such a waste!

His "tired" excuse is really starting to piss me the fuck off. No matter what I want to do, he's always tiiiiired. Remember how the doc took me off pelvic rest last week? You'd think that we've been going at it like bunnies after being deprived for four months (hell, I thought we would!), but in reality, we've only done it ONCE since then. I've been turned down every damn day for the past five days. Multiple times a day. I'm starting to think that "tired" isn't the real reason...

My little sister left for Korea yesterday. I knew it was coming and had prepared myself for it, so that in and of itself wasn't so upsetting. What got to me was that she had a good week before she had to report for duty and instead of coming home to spend time with her family, she chose to go to California and hang out with her friends and asshat boyfriend (who I'm almost positive is cheating on her). I got a call from her yesterday, right as she was checking in at the airport and only got to talk to her for about 5 minutes before she had to go through security. She'll be gone a year and I didn't even get to hug her goodbye. I spent most of yesterday bawling; alternating between sad "I miss her" tears and pissed "I can't believe she did that" tears. She also didn't call our mom before she left; she asked me to do it for her...

She called again this morning to let me know that she'd made it ok. I had to make sure she called our mom this time 'cause you can never tell with her anymore. Luckily, she already had.

So YAY MONDAY! I hope this week is better than last.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

Turns out that I lied

Not knowingly though, so you can't get mad at me!

I found stretch marks. I don't know how long they've been there because they're on the underside of the belleh and I can't exactly see down there.

So yeah. I have the ugly-as-hell linea AND stretch marks to boot. Today was a fun day.

: (

Friday, June 5, 2009

Results are in!

GBS negative! Woo hoo! I get to labor at home for as long as I want to!

::twirls in corner::

Thursday, June 4, 2009

36 weeks!

Weekly Survey

  • How far along?: 36 weeks
  • Total weight gain: +36 pounds
  • How big is baby?: Approx 6 pounds and about 13 inches long!
  • Maternity clothes?: Yep
  • Stretch marks?: Nope
  • Sleep?: Minimal. Little Wiggler likes to wake his mama up at least 4 times a night now. Add in the pee breaks and waking up to turn over and I'm the walking dead.
  • Best moment this week?: Doc took me off of pelvic rest! Watch out DH!
  • Movement?: Still wiggling away!
  • Food cravings?: Not food, but the Mango slushy thing at Jack in the Box is divine!
  • Labor signs?: Still getting Braxton Hicks
  • Belly button in or out?: Still the same! (but it looks pretty funny)
  • What I miss: Being able to turn over in my sleep. I hate having to wake up to turn over!
  • What I'm looking forward to: Wiggly's arrival!
  • Milestone:

  •  **Still don't have the rest of the baby shower pics. My SIL has really been slacking in this dept.**

    I finally got the GBS test done at my appt on Tuesday. It's seriously wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Literally took 5 seconds. Awesome! I haven't gotten the results back yet, but I'm praying they come back negative. There's no way I'll be able to labor at home as long as I want if it comes back positive. If I haven't heard back from the doc's office by lunch time, I'll probably give them a call. They go by the no news = good news thing, but I'd rather know for sure.

    We still haven't locked down a family vehicle and it's really starting to stress me out. I actually had a nightmare that we had to strap the LO to the bed of my truck because we didn't have anywhere else to put him. I was crying and looking out the back window the whole way home. Horrible! We have a couple that we're going to go check out this weekend. I really hope we find one!

    My Lil Brudder and SIL came out from Cali to visit over the weekend. I'm not sure why exactly. My brother just had surgery to have his appendix removed; and then was readmitted because of infection; he had no business driving 6 hours to get out here. As much as I lovf spending time with them, the weekend was a colossal waste of time. I was, of course, guilted into coming to my mom's house to see them even though I have a ton to crap to do at home. And all we ended up doing was car hunting... NOT for us! For the record, they don't need a new car. And why are they looking for a new car in AZ anyway?!

    Wednesday I was not able to breathe! I was huffing and puffing most of the day. I think it's safe to say that Wiggly is still crammed up in my rib cage and has NOT dropped yet... despite what my SIL thinks : P Have I mentioned lately how much I lovf it when people tell me how huuuuuge I look. Yeah, its fantabulous. ::eyeroll::

    In other news, the NBA Finals start tonight! Time to bust the Tums out; if the Lakers play this series like they have the last two, I'm definitely gonna need them!

    Here's the 36 week belleh!

    Wednesday, June 3, 2009


    I am officially OFF OF PELVIC REST!!!

    ::bow chicka wow wow::

    Tuesday, June 2, 2009

    ::eyeballs ticker::

    Does that really say 30 days left?