Thursday, September 25, 2008

Who thought it was funny

to ram a knife into my ute? O.M.G. The cramps. I've never had them this bad before; even the m/c in April wasn't this nasty. I'm literally doubled over and hissing in pain. Midol does nothing.

::sits whimpering and rocking in corner::

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

On to Cycle #5

**Update - Yep, started spotting. Cycle #4 is as good as over.

Well...almost. My temp plummeted this morning. AF is just around the corner. BLAH!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

BFP dream

I had a dream last night that I got a BFP, I don't remember much about it except looking at the test and seeing two lines. ::crosses fingers and toes::

6 more days till I can test

Monday, September 15, 2008

Confession

I didn't want to bring this up on any of the boards because I don't feel like dealing with negative comments or people bringing to my attention how wrong I am... and because this is MY blog, I can say whatever I want and I don't have to take input from anyone.

I was catching up on some of my shows last week (because I somehow managed to miss all of the season closers) and ended up bawling my eyes out to Private Practice. It was the one where one of the mothers was by herself because her hubby died and she was freaking out, then there was the mother that was homeless and holding up a liquor store for money for the baby, and the last mother gave birth to a gorgeous baby boy and was so upset that it wasn't a girl. I've watched Private Practice in the past, so I know what it's all about, but I've never had this reaction to the show before. I was doing the Ugly Cry for probably the last 10 minutes of the show. I was so sad for the first mother, having to do it all on her own without her hubby there for support. I was beyond annoyed at the second mother; WTH did you let yourself get KU if you don't even have a home to live in? And I was seriously pissed at the last mother. She was blessed with a perfect baby boy and she literally said that Addison needed to shove him back up there and pull out a girl. Think whatever you want, I realize that a TV show is kind of a dumb thing to start crying over, but it is what it is.

I got to thinking about all those wonderful, amazing, loving women on the boards that want children so bad they ache, some of whom have been waiting a long time, and these are the women that that get KU; the irresponsible, unappreciative, unprepared, self-centered women. I was so depressed for the next couple of days knowing that I should be well into my 28th week, but instead, I'm sitting here at 5DPO on my fourth cycle TTC after my last miscarriage. I'm so sad for myself, and I'm so sad for my wonderful Forties who are having trouble. You girls are in my constant prayers.

Friday, September 5, 2008

AW time!

I'm a Featured Couple! That's right, after waiting for, what, a month or so? Our story is up! I'm so excited right now that I'm doing a happy twirly dance in my chair : )

I didn't even notice till one of the girls on GP pointed it out (I use the ad free version). Thanks ALMA!

Here's the link if you wanna check it out.

http://community.thenestbaby.com/cs/ks/blogs/ttc_stories/archive/2008/09/02/his-lovf-our-baby-journey.aspx

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

We're back!

DH and I spent Labor Day weekend out in California and had so much fun. We left early Friday morning so that we wouldn't get caught in traffic. We stayed in my in-laws' crazy nice motor home; it's nice to have a private place to crash where we don't have to worry about waking everyone up when we roll in at 3 o'clock in the morning!

Saturday brought on one of my favorite things (note the dripping sarcasm), AF decided to finally show her face. A 28 day cycle and 15 day LP; talk about messing with a persons' head! I was convinced, and I mean CONVINCED that this was it. I was feeling somewhat like I did with the BFP in March, but alas, my body was playing a nasty, ugly, mean trick on me. Good things happened too though. We went out to dinner with some friends at Lucille's BBQ. Sooooo gooood! I lovf me some BBQ.

On Sunday we went shopping and DH actually had an ok time (shocking I know). He's usually sighing heavily and rolling his eyes, counting down the minutes till I finally decide that I'm done looking at stuff. He found a t-shirt that says "I see dumb people", he wore it the next day : )

Monday was really fun. I got to see my BF and play with her daughters. The girls didn't listen to me though, I told them very seriously that they weren't allowed to get any bigger in my absence. Totally disobeyed the order! The littlest one is 2 now! Her hair has gotten super light, almost white. She looks like a teeny tiny old lady, sooo cute! We had to leave there for a little while and go pick up my wedding ring at Robbin's Brothers. I had to drop it off on Friday to be re-plated and to have the diamonds tightened. DH's ring was also dropped off, but he won't get his back for 3 weeks! The diamond on his ring fell out (tension setting), and since this is the second time it's happened, they decided to send it back to the manufacturer to be checked out. They said they might even have to replace it. Brand new ring for DH! After we picked up my ring, we went back to our friends' house in Fontana to wait for her DH to come home. He's a Sheriff and didn't return until almost 11 o'clock. We stayed there till about 2 AM so they could catch up, then I was forced to drive back to the in-laws allll the way out in Hemet. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open, but of course I had to drive, 'cause the guys downed a keg! I'm always the designated driver. So not fair!

Tuesday we came home. We left CA at about 11AM and got home around 5. We dropped off all of our stuff and then had to head out for another hour long drive to pick up our puppies at my parents' house.

And now, here I sit once again. I just finished catching up on emails and such and I had to update all my info on FF 'cause I didn't have internet access while we were there. Now that I'm done with all that, I must head over to The Fort to see all my internet buds : )