Getting Pretty Anxious

Shocking, I know.

I can't help but be scared that LO will decide to pop out just a measly 24 hours before I really, really want him to. I've been getting crampy feelings randomly throughout the day, but nothing painful or at all consistent. I wonder what the odds are of him actually making his debut in the narrow window that I have in my head? Probably slim to none, but I can't help but hope and pray (constantly) that he does. My mom let me know that my grandma will also be back from her trip to Mexico on Saturday. *groan* I know she expected to be in the room for Little Man, but was in California when he was born. I never had to drop the bomb on her that she would've been ejected to the waiting room with everyone else. I'm dreading having this talk with them and seeing their faces when I let them know that it will only be MyLovf and I in the delivery room again... Not only that, but I would prefer that they not come to the hospital AT ALL until after he's born. I have the option of laboring in a tub this time and I am definitely planning to use it. I have no intention whatsoever of having anyone but my husband and medical staff around to witness my mostly nakedness while I'm in there. Oh. Yes. One more thing. I also really want Little Man to be the first one to meet his brother, so I'm going to have to ask them to sit tight until they've had a little time together. I don't see them taking any of this well at all.

Man, I hate this.

I shouldn't be made to feel guilty because I want my birth experience to be a private and intimate event with my husband. Yet, that is almost surely what's going to happen.

Come on little one. Do mama a solid and make your grand entrance in the early morning hours on Saturday, ok? Please? Save your mama from the inevitable awkwardness and hurt feelings.

Ok. *shaking it off* Let's get a bit of happiness in here, shall we?

The ultrasound we had yesterday revealed that he is back to being head down! Woot! AND the GBS test came back negative! My midwife says I'll be able to avoid the IV altogether and just get the hep lock in L&D (which is totally fine with me)! I am so relieved :)

I've been pretty much living out of my hospital bag because I don't want to have to be running around getting the last minute stuff together when it's "go" time. I have it all in there now and just leave it open to access my hair dryer/makeup/deodorant/whatever as I need it. It also comes with me when I'm going to be far from the house. I am so ready! Not at all like when my water broke with LM. Speaking of, there is now a waterproof mattress pad down on my side of the bed and puppy pee pads on my driver's seat just in case. *heehee* I've been keeping myself occupied and distracted by doing stupid little things to make sure the after delivery pictures come out cute. Is that even possible? So I have changed my nail polish color three times (and yet they're bare right now...?), plucked my eyebrows, trimmed my bangs, and cleaned my wedding ring. All super vital stuff, right?

Listen up Universe! Early morning Saturday.  Ok? Yes? Thank you for your cooperation :) And as a little added incentive, here's a pic of my sweet little guy taken at our appointment.

The blob over his face on the left side is his hand, the blob on the right is the cord.

Ticker Change Day: 37 Weeks

I am officially the most pregnant I've ever been! It's so weird to think that LM was already here at this point. This little guy seems perfectly content to stay right where he is and that is totally fine with me. I really really want him to hold out until February so his birth stone will be an amethyst. I love amethysts :)

I'm happy to say that this past week has been much nicer to me than the one before. Energy is still scarce and I've been battling a slight cold for the last few days, but I was able to get some stuff done. Our trip to storage was a bust, so I did end up going to Goodwill for a few receiving blankets and burp cloths. I'm thinking that trip was meant to be because I found burp cloths with LO's name already embroidered on them! What are the odds? I also finished up all my crochet projects (including a pair of booties and a blanket for LO) and put my Etsy shop on vacation mode. Thankfully this is not usually a busy time of year for the shop so I shouldn't miss out on too much income from there.

Yesterday my honey went into full-on nesting mode and completed every single trivial little project I had for him on my honey-do list. I cleaned up our room and ironed a few things and then plopped my butt down on the couch for the Lakers game. I didn't get up again until it was time to get ready for our last date night before little guy's arrival. We pigged out on ribs at Lucielle's! Nom.

My mantra to LO right now is the number of days left until February. Today is "Only 5 days left until you can come my little lovf!" I sing it to him all the time. I'm hoping that by putting it out into the universe, I'll get not only the birth stone I want, but also the date. Silly and self indulgent? Yeah, probably. But it doesn't hurt anyone so what the hell? *shrugs* I put my 36 week belly pic up on my FB page a few days ago and my BFF commented that I could go any day (which is true). My mom felt the need to chime in that "Baby has to wait til I get back. Sunday 2/2 would be a good day to be born." Because, you know, her being home for the birth is all that matters. I'm surprised my eyes didn't roll out of my head. I'm thinking she's forgotten (or perhaps doesn't believe) that she will, once again, not be invited into the delivery room. My perfect fantasy scenario at this point would be to go into labor late Friday night after LM is in bed and have LO arrive on Saturday morning. That way I don't have to worry about people in the waiting room salivating to get in to see the new squish and won't have to worry about my mother ambushing me or trying to guilt me into letting her stay with me while I push... again. A Saturday morning delivery would mean that she'd still be in transit from Colorado (where her presence was apparently more vital) and I could avoid all confrontation completely. *crossing my fingers and wishing on stars*

I'm also mildly obsessed with how to put my hair up for the actual pushing phase. Because. Ya know. That is so the one thing I'm going to be worried about as I'm getting ready to force a watermelon out of my hooha... *hangs head*

Weekly Survey

• How far along?: 37 Weeks
• Total weight gain: ?: starting weight was 126
  
• How big is baby?: At this age, the average fetus weighs about 6.5 pounds
• Maternity clothes?: My wardrobe is shrinking by the day. I hate to think of the money I invested in clothing only to not be able to wear it the entire time.
• Sleep?: Pretty ok even without the sexy time help. Poor DH; I had to deflate his balloon and tell him no more sex for the time being. It's just too much for me right now. Plus, I think he's had it pretty good up to this point.
• Best moment this week/Milestones?: There is officially no more I can do to be ready for LO's arrival. Everything we need has been purchased or pulled out of storage, all the tiny laundry is done (and folded/put away), car seat is in the car, childcare is arranged for LM, hospital bag is packed, the house is clean, etc. ad nauseum. It's just a waiting game now.
• Movement: Not just moving, but crazy big, almost painful movements. I'm feeling hiccups and kicks pretty much all over. I have no idea what the heck he's up to in there.
• Food cravings?: I've been very particular about having a certain breakfast pastry, but nothing crazy.
• Belly button in or out?: Flat still. At this point I doubt it'll pop.
• What I miss: Alcohol again. I was surrounded by yummy looking cocktails at dinner last night. Want!
• What I'm looking forward to: Weekly appointment with ultrasound on Wednesday! Please, oh please little one, be head down again!
• Developments: Congratulations! You've got what is officially considered a full-term baby, even with three weeks to go. That doesn't mean he's finished growing - in fact, he's still packing on about a half pound a week. That makes it a little crowded in your uterus, so he’s probably not kicking as much, though he’s probably stretching, rolling a bit, and wiggling. Right now, your little superstar is busy rehearsing for his big debut, inhaling and exhaling amniotic fluid (to get the lungs ready for that first breath), sucking his thumb (to prepare for that first suckle of milk), blinking, and turning from side to side.

Belly Pic!

36 Weeks: Almost Done!

And that's in more ways than one.

I put this one off on purpose because I've been trying to work through some stuff. It's not really worked through, but I figured I'd post anyway. It always makes me feel better.

I have to go back and see how I was feeling at this point with Little Man, because oh.mah.gah I am so flippin' uncomfortable right now! Everything hurts. Getting into my car takes twice as long because I'm moving at the pace of a little old lady recovering from hip surgery. And forget about walking for extended periods. Ugh. Add crazy emotions to the physical pain and I'm just a bundle of awesome *note sarcasm*. It was so bad this morning that I actually cried for no good reason. My poor Honey was at a loss; here I am all gigantic and crying and he has to leave for work. I had to pull myself together so he could go and broke down again after he left. He has been so great these last couple weeks; he's been giving me back massages and rubbing my aching feet and trying to navigate my craziness. I think I'm really hitting that wall, but still wanting to make it to at least two more weeks. I don't want a repeat experience with the hospital that I had with LM where most of the crap stemmed from him being "barely" full term at 37 weeks exactly.

My mom decided that my sister needed her help more than I do at this point and flew to CO to be with her for two weeks. Her H has mandatory training for his job and is in Boston until next Saturday. Add to that, the daycare on campus doesn't take babies younger than six weeks and the grant she was awarded doesn't allow for her to take a semester off. I don't know why her MIL (who she supposedly loves to death and lives a mere 15 minutes away) couldn't help her, but that's irrelevant now. It's a big ball of WTF. Thankfully, my dad is home, so if shit does go down we have someone to watch after LM. I still can't help feeling abandoned by her though. I have this little needling thought in the back of my head that she's punishing me for not allowing her into my delivery room by placing my sister's pregnancy/baby over mine. Oh well, at least if I go into labor while she's gone, I won't have to worry about her trying to break into my delivery room.

Weekly Survey

• How far along?: 36 Weeks
• Total weight gain: 159: starting weight was 126.
• How big is baby?: Baby is now about six pounds and 20 inches long.
• Maternity clothes?: There is actually some maternity clothes that don't fit me anymore! Why on Earth do maternity blouses that don't cover the belly through the entire pregnancy even exist? So annoying.
• Sleep?: Still having trouble sleeping and it only seems to be better on the nights when MyLovf and I... um... yeah. Unfortunately that can't happen every night. Sucks. I could use good sleep every night.
• Best moment this week/Milestones?: My last bi-weekly appointment was on Monday and everything health wise was perfect (heart rate at 148). I had a sneaking suspicion that LO had moved from being head down and had my midwife confirm that he was lying transverse. A few days ago I felt some crazy big movements and then started feeling hiccups and stuff on my right side instead of down low where they had been for the last few weeks and kicks on my left side. I watched a couple Spinning Babies videos and tried a few things. I think something happened because the kicks are now more toward the top middle. I'm crossing my fingers that the u/s scheduled for next Wednesday to check positioning shows that he's moved back to head down, otherwise it'll be a c-section for me. Oh yeah, also, WEEKLY APPOINTMENTS. And there is now an infant car seat base strapped in to my car. Shit just got real y'all! I should really pack my hospital bag...
• Movement: Still going strong and starting to regulate a little bit? Maybe? I have certain times now where I can expect him to be more active. One of those falls at 4:00am. Yaaaaayyy!
• Food cravings?: Nothing in particular right now.
• Belly button in or out?: Still flat and the linea can kiss my ass.
• What I miss: Wine! OMG I'm going to have a giant glass right after I deliver! LOL *not really*
• What I'm looking forward to: Right now I'm focused on getting us to 38 weeks, but I am so on the verge of DONE.
• Developments: Baby's skull isn't the only soft structure in his little body. Most of his bones and cartilage are quite soft as well (they'll harden over the first few years of life) - allowing for an easier journey as your baby squeezes through the birth canal at delivery (and less prodding and poking for Mom along the way). At 36 weeks pregnant, the skull bones are also not fused together yet so that the head can easily (well, relatively easily) maneuver through the birth canal. By now, many of his systems are pretty mature, at least in baby terms - and just about ready for life on the outside. Blood circulation, for instance, has been perfected and his immune system has matured enough to protect him from infections outside the womb. Other systems, however, still need a few finishing touches. Once such notable example: digestion - which actually won't be fully mature until sometime after birth. Why's that? Inside his little gestational cocoon, your baby has relied on the umbilical cord for nutrition, meaning that the digestive system - though developed - hasn't been operational. So he will take the first year or two to bring that system up to speed.

Belly Pic!

Random rant to the world: Stop trying to grab on pregnant women you don't know! It's beyond weird and inappropriate! I obviously need to work on my RBF because people I don't know keep asking to touch my belly and then get super offended when I say no and quickly walk away. How is it in any way appropriate? I just don't understand. And for the lady behind me in line at the grocery store the other day who reached for it without asking at all? You're lucky there was a cart separating us, otherwise, instead of the WTF look I gave you, you might've gotten smacked.

Ticker Change Day: 35 Weeks

Holy crap, am I actually posting something on time? Unheard of lately ;)

I am 35 weeks today and have 35 days left till my due date! I am also happy to announce that my BFF gave birth to her third child on the 8th. A girl! I'm now up to three nephews and two nieces, both as an official and an honorary auntie. I can't wait to meet the newest squishes, which will hopefully be in July. My baby brother is tentatively scheduled for some leave around the 4th, so we're working on getting the entire family together while he's home.

So blessed :)

As much as I am looking forward to having this little guy here, I'm getting sad that it's almost over. I have absolutely loved being pregnant and will really miss it when it's done. We have pretty much everything ready for when he gets here, but are still missing the receiving blankets and burp cloths. The guys have been out to storage looking for them, but they seem to have disappeared. I might have to drag my butt out there to see if I can lend a hand (at least to see if I can spot the correct box), otherwise we're gonna need to pick up some more. I did see a bunch of the hospital type blankets at Goodwill the last time we went. They were like a dollar a piece, so I wouldn't feel too bad about replacing the ones we can't find.

Weekly Survey

• How far along?: 35 Weeks
• Total weight gain: 155: starting weight was 126.
• How big is baby?: The size of a coconut. The midwife says he'll probably be about as big as LM when he was born.
• Maternity clothes?: Yep
• Sleep?: Insomnia! OMG I've never had this much trouble falling asleep. I was seriously spoiled before this and it's really not helping with the all day exhaustion :(
• Best moment this week/Milestones?: After being largely neglected the last eight and a half months, my mom took me for a mani/pedi yesterday. Man, did I need it! Our last baby appointment was on the 7th. Tiny guy's heart beat was at 155 and the midwife said I'm measuring about a week behind. She wasn't concerned about it though, she figures I just have smaller babies.
• Movement: Despite the lack of room, this tiny guy has been giving mama lessons in belly dancing. He's getting his wiggle on right now, in fact. LOL
• Food cravings?: The season of Conversation Hearts has begun and I could not be more thrilled! I look forward to them all year and have been eating my weight in their sugary, chalky goodness since I finally found them at Walmart last week :)
  
• Belly button in or out?: Still flat and the linea is still an asshole.
• What I miss: Other than motivation, drive, and energy... um... nothing. I cannot seem to talk myself off of the couch.
• What I'm looking forward to: Birth! Is that weird? I'm actually really looking forward to labor.
• Developments: While he won't get much longer, he will continue to pack on the pounds — including large amounts of baby fat - right up 'til delivery day. Something else that's moving at a mind-boggling pace these day: fetal brain development! There’s a lot going on inside that tiny head, which is, by the way, still soft to allow an easier exit through the birth canal.

Belly Pic!

LOL I guess I can't post on time, but I am giving myself props for at least starting the post on Ticker Change Day :)

Another Bulk Update: Weeks 32-34

Hey all!

I know. I know. I have no excuse other than I lack motivation to do just about anything. That includes going up the stairs to retrieve my laptop in order to type out a new post. I was really hoping that the nesting instinct would've kicked in by now, but it just hasn't. I'm so flippin' tired all the time and there's still a lot to do. Thankfully, we were able to get out to storage and find the boxes full of baby clothes and some other items I'll be needing right away. We'll have to go back though, because we didn't locate any of the receiving blankets, burp cloths, or heart beat teddy bear that helped us so tremendously with Little Man.

Since we last met, my little sister gave birth to my nephew! Born at 37 weeks on December 20 at 3:52pm, weighing in at 5 pounds and 5 ounces, and was 18.5 inches long. All ten fingers and all then toes are accounted for and he's been pretty good to her so far. My mom flew out to CO on a 10:00am flight; two hours after my sister called to let us know her water had broken. After flight delays and rental car mishaps, she made it to the delivery room barely 20 minutes before he was born. My sister was super happy that she made it in time; even though, in my mind, she was only there for the easy part. Labor took the better part of a week! Seriously. She had been contracting on and off for four days! I really hope mine doesn't take so long. She got practically no sleep and was exhausted by the time she had to start pushing.

We went for my 32 week appointment on Christmas Eve morning. I'm really lovfing these appointments. We never have to wait to be seen and we're only there for about half an hour. All we do is weigh in, listen to the tiny one's heart beat, measure the belly, and chat with a midwife. That's it! I don't plan to let them do internal checks this time around, so other than the butt swipe test at 36 weeks (lol, so glamorous) I don't foresee a reason to get nekkid at the office.

My mom ended up staying with my sister for 5 days and came home on Christmas Day. We held off opening presents until she got home... well, everyone except Little Man. There was no stopping him!

Baking cookies for Santa!

Santa came!

This one is mine?

MyLovf and I on Christmas Day

Santa was good to all of us. It was a pretty awesome day :) New Year's Eve was pretty low key. My parents and grandma drove out the California to spend time with my brother's family, so we had the house all to ourselves. MyLovf and I drank a toast of sparkling grape juice at midnight while LM slept. Total party animals! LOL

Weekly Survey

• How far along?: 34 Weeks
• Total weight gain: 153: starting weight was 126.
• How big is baby?: Baby is about 5 pounds and could be as long as 20 inches!
• Maternity clothes?: Yep
• Sleep?: I'm getting up at least once a night (usually twice) to pee and waking up for the day around 7:00 every morning, no matter what time I go to sleep. Still can't really complain.
• Best moment this week/Milestones?: I found a My Brest Friend at Goodwill for $3.99! I couldn't believe it when I saw it sitting on a pile of pillows. Talk about an awesome deal!
• Movement: It has slowed down a little, but still pretty regular. He must be running out of room.
• Food cravings?: Eat all the foods!
  
• Belly button in or out?: Still flat. I don't know if it's going to pop or not. It didn't with LM. Asshole linea seems to have gotten darker since the first time around though. Freakin' thing. I hate it so much!
• What I miss: "Regular" sex. It's become a bit of a production and I'm really hoping it doesn't take long for everything to get back to normal after delivery. Also missing having energy!
• What I'm looking forward to: Our next appointment on Tuesday!
• Developments: The vernix (the white coating protecting your baby’s skin) is getting thicker. This week, a boy's testicles start making their way down from his abdomen to their final destination: his scrotum (look out below!). In other baby-related developments, those tiny fingernails have probably reached the tips of his fingers by now - and getting ready for that first postpartum manicure.

Belly Pic!