Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 in Pictures

This time last year I was 14 weeks pregnant. It's crazy how much has changed since I took this picture!

I've seen a few blogs doing a 2009: Year in Pictures and totally lovfed the idea. So here's our 2009!

So that's all. Here's to making 2010 the best year ever!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Maybe I'm the one who's wrong?

I know I already posted once today, but something has been bothering me...

My mother and I got into a heated "conversation" over the weekend because I chose to come down on the opposite side of an issue.

A little background: my mother is best friends with my best friends' mother (did I lose you?) and she happens to be staying with my parents right now (long story). So anyway, my best friend, N, and her family came out from Texas to spend Christmas here. While N was here, her mother, M, did something that really upset N. She gave N's son, G, some coffee. G is two years old and hadn't had so much as a soda up to that point. The kid even gets watered down apple juice. So N tells her mom to not give G any more coffee. M responds that N needs to lighten up and that a little bit won't kill him and then proceeds to give him another sip. I think you can guess what happened after that.

I happen to agree that no one has any business giving a two year old coffee, especially if the child's mother says not to do it. At that point, it becomes a question of whether or not you're going to respect the parent and the way she chooses to raise her kids. Telling her to "lighten up", in my opinion, is disrespectful.

My mother came down on the opposite side stating that N blew the situation out of proportion and that she overreacted by yelling at her mom for giving G coffee. My mom also used the "it's not going to kill him" argument and is now starting to make it seem like N was the one in the wrong.

I know N is really upset that her mother trivialized her concerns and made her feel stupid about the decisions she's making with G. Now I'm upset because I see my own mother starting down the same path. I got upset when my dad gave Little Man a little lick off his ice cream cone. I don't like that they bathe him in the kitchen sink. I hate that my mother pushes formula over BM only because it gives her more opportunities to feed him. It drives me bonkers when my grandma makes Little "tell" me things; "Mama, my feet are cold, I should always have socks on." "Mama, I'm staaaaaarving, when are you going to feed me? Do you want Nana to give me a bottle?" " Mama, how come you won't let me stay the night at Nana's house? Don't you trust her?" And all of this in what is supposed to be a cutesy baby voice. It takes every ounce of strength I have not to yell at them to mind their own damn business and let me raise my son. I know the minute I say anything negative to them, they'll take it to the extreme and when I do need their opinion on something, they'll not want to give it to me because I'll "get offended". Why does everything have to be such a high wire act?

So loyal readers, what do you think? When my mother attempts to give Little Man coffee sometime down the line, do I say something or let her do her indulgent Grandma thing and bite my tongue? And at what point do you put your foot down and say "Not my child!"

TAM post

I was tagged by both Mrs. Foreste and Leenie to do a TAM post. So here are five things that make me a Truly Authentic Mom:

1. Little Man's diaper bag is filled with stuff that he MIGHT need; a paci (which he's never used), an extra package of wipes (in addition to the travel container I fill every day), two extra sets of clothes (because he once had two blowouts in one day), his hair brush (don't really know why), nail clippers, two blankets, and a few toys. Ok, the toys he needs pretty much all the time, but what is with everything else?

2. I'm obsessed with making him "smell like a baby". I can't stand it when he smells like spit up or poo; he has a bath every night and I always use the Johnson's baby lotion 'cause that's my idea of how babies should smell.

3. Every article of clothing I buy now has to meet three baby-related requirements:
a ) It has to be baby friendly... as in NOT dry clean only.
b ) Feeding friendly. I buy a lot of button up tops these days.
c ) Soft... 'cause I don't want my baby's precious cheek resting against something that isn't a soft as a cloud.

4. I feel sooooooooo guilty after drinking even one glass of wine. I know it's only one glass, and its only 6% alcohol, but it seems really indulgent to me. And semi-irresponsible because I'm BFing. (Yes, I know I'm completely irrational)

5. I take everything so damn seriously now! I used to have a sense of humor, but ever since this little guy came along, I take everything literally. It sucks, I can't take a freaking joke anymore.

Saturday, December 12, 2009

Happy Half Birthday to my Little Man!

I can't believe my baby is 6 months old! He's getting to be such a ... person! His personality is really starting to develop and he's learning new things so quickly. Earlier this week, totally out of the blue, he decided that he was ready to roll over from back to belly. I laid him under his activity center and a few minutes later he started fussing. I turned to pick him up and found him on his belly! He was annoyed that he'd bumped into the side of the center. I turned him back over and he did it again! But in true Little fashion, as soon as I picked up the camera to get video documentation, he refused to do it again. Little rascal.

The cute butt can sit for pretty long stretches without any support. I put pillows all around him anyway though; he sometimes throws back his head and unbalances himself and he ends up falling over. He can pick up most of his toys and bends himself in half to reach the ones that are a little too far away. He shows more interest in the dogs, too. He doesn't touch them, but he watches everything they do. I'm sure the tail pulling will start any time!

He has outgrown almost all of his 3-6 month clothes and is now in 6-9 month stuff. Man, I wish I could open the box to a new wardrobe every three months! Pardon me while I daydream about that for a moment... We will have to go out and buy new sleepers. Somehow, we have zero 6-9 month footy pajamas. 

Our adventures with solids have all been positive. He likes pretty much everything we've given him. He's had oatmeal, green peas, sweet potatoes, carrots, pears, bananas, and apples. He doesn't much care to be spoon fed rice cereal but is fine with it if it's in his bottle. I'm also still breastfeeding, though it seems my supply is once again less than adequate. I can't keep up with his growth spurts. But hey, some is better than none, right?

We take him in for his six month appointment on Friday. I am not looking forward to it. He'll be getting the regular flu shot AND the swine flu shot along with all the other regular vaccinations. I hate it when they poke him. I AM excited to find out his stats, he's really getting heavy and I think the time for a new car seat is fast approaching; our current one has a 20 pound weight limit! He also sits at the table with us whenever we go out to eat, no more chilling in the car seat, my big boy uses a high chair! We have to stuff blankets around him to make sure he doesn't knock his head, but he'll happily play with his toys at the table and let us enjoy our dinner.

Check out my little man holding his own bottle!

In non-baby related news: I got my RIF (reduction in force) letter from work yesterday morning. My official last day is February 11, 2010. And I C.A.N.N.O.T wait!

I will soon be fulfilling my dream of staying home with my baby and breaking free of my little cube shaped prison filled with stacks of paper. I'm also looking into joining a Mommy and Me group in our community. I'm going to have to work very hard at not becoming a slob once I'm home with Little. It's too easy for me to not get out of bed till 10:30 and then not get dressed until right before MyLovf comes home from work at 6 o'clock! I have big plans to start working out again, too. I still have 10 pounds of baby weight to lose, and (if I get really ambitious) 15 more on top of that to get back down to my wedding day weight. MyLovf purchased the P90X program for himself and had almost immediate results. It looks like something that I would like. We'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

So here's what happened

I know my last entry sounded pretty bleak, and then I disappeared for the weekend, but I promise I'm ok.

So here's what happened: I was sick as a dog for two days and had to stay home from work. And because M couldn't take Little Man to daycare, I had to care for him while sick. Not the most ideal "get healthy" scenario. He also couldn't take any days off to stay home and take care of me. He couldn't leave even a teensy bit earlier than usual so he could come home and help me out. In fact, the second day, he left at 6 o'clock, an hour later than usual. Upon returning home, he spent an hour in the bathroom (with his IPod, which leads me to believe he wasn't actually "busy"), and when he finally decided to grace us with his presence (not take the baby, but plop his butt in the recliner), I was hit with "Why are you still in your pajamas?" "Why didn't you do the dishes?" "How come you didn't start dinner?"

::deep breath::

Let me paint a picture. I had a monster headache, my body ached all over, I had the chills so bad my teeth were chattering, and I was completely congested. All I wanted to do was sleep, but with Little home, I was only able to sleep when he slept, which amounted to about two hours a day. So for him to come home and say all that and do all that... well, it pissed me right off. In his mind, I was home all day, so I should've been able to take care of all those things. Which on any other day, I would understand, but I was freakin' sick!! I could barely get up to change Little's diaper, I was not about to go wash dishes! We went back and forth for a good half hour, and he still didn't get it. Why is this concept so hard for him to grasp? I swear, when he's sick, it's like the end of the world. He stays in bed moaning and I have to take care of every stupid thing for him.

When Little refused to sleep that night, it was like fire icing on my Hell cake. M has a low threshold for frustration, so we had yet another yelling match; very conducive to getting a baby to sleep, no?

We never fought pre-baby the way we fight now. Does it really take a whole year for a marriage to rebound after the birth of a child? Anyway, we talked again the next day about everything I was feeling. I doubt it sank in this time, but at least I know he's aware of where my head is.

So, I'm feeling better now, but that could just be the passing of time; not necessarily because our situation has improved. I'm not really sure what to do at this point. Do I keep talking, or do I accept that this is just the way things are going to be for a while?

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Everything sucks

You know how they say to write everything down on paper so that you can get shit off your chest and start feeling better??

I've written three pages. In 10pt type. Single spaced. With .25 margins.

I'm not done.

I could really use some hugs today. And kleenex.