October 15th

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day.

Today I honor my little angels in Heaven. I think of them every day, but today seems different somehow. Today I think not only of myself, but about all the women in the world that share my grief in the loss of a baby. I wish I could think of something profound to say, but words fail me right now. I feel so overwhelmed. Just know that I will be praying. Praying for our babies and praying for those women out there that are coping with loss. And to my girls, you know who you are, I'm also sending hugs and much, much lovf.

Crap! Crap! Crap!

FF moved my crosshairs from CD12 to CD16 which puts it smack dab in the middle of our worst timing to date, and also doesn't match up with the good CM I had. I was so mad at DH for denying me sexy time on Friday (which was incidentally CD16) and then felt bad about it on Saturday when I got my original crosshairs. Now I'm back to being mad at him.

Weirdo Temps

So, I thought that I O'd on CD11 'cause my temp shot up, but now it's gone back down again (on what would've been the 3rd day for a high temp). Totally strange for this time in my cycle. I'm not sure what to think of it. I don't know if I can keep MyLovf going for much longer, we're both exhausted from the sex marathon.

Praying for crosshairs soon!

Holy crap. It's October already!

When did that happen? It feels like this year just flew right by!

I was hit with the realization yesterday (while driving home from work), that my EDD is fast approaching. It was December 6th. I don't know what triggered it, probably something on the radio, but I cried almost the whole way home. Has it really been six months? When I got home MyLovf noticed that I was upset and asked what was wrong. He's too perceptive sometimes; I was trying to hide it. It did feel good to be able to talk to him about it though. I don't know what I'd do without him.

Who thought it was funny

to ram a knife into my ute? O.M.G. The cramps. I've never had them this bad before; even the m/c in April wasn't this nasty. I'm literally doubled over and hissing in pain. Midol does nothing.

::sits whimpering and rocking in corner::