Monday, October 5, 2009

Having a hard morning

Damn, I’ve been at work for an hour and I already know that today is gonna suck. How depressing.

This is my 4th week back at work (4 weeks that my Little has been in daycare), so I should be used to leaving him there by now. Usually, when I drop him off, he’s sleeping in his car seat, but today he was awake and he was looking at me with these eyes that said, “Where are you going Mama?” It killed me to walk out of there and leave him looking after me. I’m sitting here typing this out, and I’m almost in tears. I thought this was supposed to get easier! It seems the opposite is happening for me; the longer he’s in there, the worse I feel about it.

And it looks like he’s going to be there longer than I anticipated ::twist the knife:: I spoke with our mortgage company on Friday, and they’re now saying that it could take 6 months for everything to be finalized, not two. NOT.two! So every time I told my baby it would only be for two months, I lied to him. My picture of being a SAHM by Christmas is ruined and I am so so sad. I want to be home with my son! Just about every aspect of my life is suffering because all I want to do when I’m not working is be with Little; the laundry piles up, the dishes pile up, and I don’t make dinner. It's just so frustrating.


Rachel H. said...

Thinking of you! I can't imagine how tough it must be! :)

Shannon said...

Awww hun, Im sorry. I can only imagine how hard it is for you to be away from your baby.

I will keep you in mind for any future cell phone, etc needs. Right now, we get all that through my work but if anything changes, I will let you know!

E said...

I too hate work more and more every minute I'm there. Hang in there honey. ((HUGS))