Monday, June 23, 2008


I knew I'd be walking the line bordering crazy when I decided to give charting a chance. Now I realize that sanity-wise, this may not be such a good idea. (Disclaimer: I know I will be grateful for the information later and that charting will help me understand my body better :P) Four days into my first month I was already staring at my chart trying to glean information from it that it was in no position to give. In the back of my mind, I knew that four temperatures could tell me nothing, but that didn't stop me from looking at it over and over and over again.

Now I'm sitting here on CD13 wondering when the cross-hairs are going to appear. No, obessesing over when they're going to appear is more accurate. I entered my temp this morning and FF gave me two little colored boxes on the calendar; one pink and one green. I know this means something important. I know this is information that will help me. Do I want to go ahead and find out what it is? No. At least, not right this minute. It will only give me something new to obsess over.

If I'm reading my chart correctly (and I like to think that I am), I'll be O'ing soon; maybe already did, and I feel confident that we timed our sex right. So why am I feeling so damned paranoid about it? I literally think about sex fifty times a day, probably way more than DH does on his best day. I try to reassure him that I'm jumping on him because I want to, and I do, but "Baby! Baby! Baby!" is flashing through my head no matter what, whether it's CD4 or CD25. I think he thinks that I'm just using him for his body at this point (LOL).


Andrea said...

Charting definitely drives me crazy! But I can't stop now, I'm addicted. I hope this cycle and all of the charting and obssessing have a happy ending!