Thursday, April 16, 2009

29 weeks! (updates and an awful dream)

Weekly Survey

  • How far along?: 29 weeks
  • Total weight gain: Weigh in yesterday puts me at +24
  • How big is baby?: Approx 2 pounds, 12 ounces
  • Maternity clothes?: Yep
  • Stretch marks?: Still no, but my linea nigra is getting longer! :* (
  • Sleep?: I'm waking up more often in the night, not to pee, but to turn over
  • Best moment this week?: Hearing Wiggler's heartbeat at our appt
  • Movement?: Every day
  • Food cravings?: None really
  • Labor signs?: Nope
  • Belly button in or out?: No change from last week
  • What I miss: Sleeping on my tummy
  • What I'm looking forward to:
  • Milestone: We now have two week appointments rather than four week appointments.
Yesterday was pretty rough on me. It started out in the shower (mind out of gutter please!) when I noticed that my oh-so-lovely linea nigra is actually getting longer! It popped up pretty early in the 1st Tri and has always been fairly dark, but it only went from my belly button, down and I could deal with that. Now it's also creeping it's annoying little self UP from the belly button! Something about that made me feel really... what's the word... icky.

So I get myself all dolled up for the day and then have to chug the glucola for my GD test. That actually wasn't so bad, it really does taste just like flat orange soda, and I like orange soda, so no big deal. But I HATE getting my blood drawn, and it's only made worse that the phlebotomist isn't the most gentle of people. After that was all taken care of I did the normal appt stuff with my doc's medical student, but I had to request to see him so I could go over my birth preferences. How annoying is that? I schedule myself to meet with this guy and when I come in for the appt, I still have to request to see him...? Whatever. So I give him my list of stuff, and right off the bat he takes off some of my most important requests! I didn't want to be hooked up to an IV, but he insisted that I have to have at least a hep-lock. I guess I can compromise on that. I also have to have continuous fetal monitoring; intermittent monitoring is just not an option. Tell me how I'm going to be able to walk around and change positions whenever I want if I'm strapped to that stupid machine? Then he scratches off my preferred birthing position claiming that if I do it that way, he won't be able to help me. To which I think that I don't want his help unless I absolutely need it, and every book I've read says that this is the best and easiest position to give birth in. Doesn't matter though, it's not an option that he's even willing to consider. That one upset me the most, but it was made even worse when I looked over to DH for support, and instead, he's giving me this "are you freaking crazy?" expression. He was looking at me like I'd grown another head. I know I'd talked to him about it, but he acted like it was a complete surprise. I've joked about it before, but now I truly believe that he doesn't pay attention when I talk. The rest of the appt was passed in silence. I was afraid to speak for fear that I'd burst into tears. We left the doc's office, went and got something to eat and then I had to go to work when what I really wanted to do was climb into bed and have a good cry. Even though I didn't get there till around lunch time, my day dragged.

When I got home from work, I tried talking to DH about why the things I had on my list are so important to me, but I think he's fully taken on the doc's side. The man went to medical school after all, and what do I really know about having a baby? I contended that there were plenty of other doctors out there that also went to medical school who would say the exact opposite of what he was telling us. Arguing ensued and near tears again, I just stopped talking.

We've decided that we can't afford the Bradley classes after all, so I'm going to have to call today and let them know that we're not going to come back. I feel really bad about it and anxious that we're going to be missing out on good information, but we have no other choice : (

I think the stress of it all really effected my sleep last night. I had the most horrible dream! DH and I were at the beach with our puppies. We were all playing around on the sand and running in the water. Just having a good ol' time. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, we are dragged into the ocean by a humongous wave! We all come up together and DH grabs our little boy doxie (Toby). I see our big dog (Shelby), so I get to her and put her paws on my shoulders and as I'm reaching for our little girl doxie (Biddle), another huge wave comes down right on top of us (I have no idea where the waves were coming from, I remember seeing only smooth water). We come up again and DH still has Toby and I still have Shelby, but now I can't find my little Biddle anywhere. I'm searching frantically and screaming her name over and over, but she's nowhere. DH dives under the water to see if he can find her, and nothing. I turn in circles, still screaming and screaming but seeing nothing but water. And then I woke up. The thought of losing my little girl is just heart wrenching, I love her so much. We've been together since she was just a puppy and she's been with me through everything. I couldn't get back to sleep, so I fished her out from under the covers (yes, she sleeps with us) and cuddled with her. She must've sensed that something was wrong, because rather than go back to her little nest, she laid right by me the rest of the night.


I'm hoping that today goes a lot better. I need a break . So on a cheery note... here's the belleh!

Strategically placed hand ; )

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