Little Man says:

Mocha Frappacino kind of morning

Yes, that IS an iced coffee beverage from Starbucks. And was worth every penny of the $3.45 that it cost. And it doesn't matter that it's 44 degrees outside. Because last night was the night from Hell and I need caffine to function.

Little decided that he wanted to keep everyone up last night. So now I'm running on probably two hours of sleep. I don't know what was up with him. He wasn't hungry and he wasn't dirty; yet he would.not.go.to.sleep (maybe he's teething)? I think there were actually tears at some point, but I'm too tired to remember clearly. What I do remember is M taking him out of the room because he was afraid that I was gonna lose it and hurt him...

Yeah. Nice huh?

For some reason, if I'm anything less than 100% cheerful, M goes straight to the worst case scenario. Two days after Little came home we were having a similar bad night (because we did not know about this). I was exhausted and frustrated and he wouldn't stop crying; so then I started crying and M became convinced that my tears were because I had post partum depression (I didn't). Him suggesting that really hurt my feelings and made the whole situation worse. It made me feel like I didn't have my partner, ya know? Like I didn't have anyone to lean on. I felt hopeless and like I was already a failure at being a mother. It was like that again last night. Yes, I was tired as hell. Yes, I was totally frustrated. Yes, I yelled at my baby to please, please go to sleep! But I would NEVER do ANYTHING to hurt him!

He took Little out of the room and tried to get him to sleep. An hour later he brought him back in because he was still fussing. I popped the boob into his mouth and he finally fell asleep! At 3am M tried to apologize for what he said. I told him that we needed to talk about it in the morning, but I wasn't really to forgive him. He got all pissy. He was mad at ME for not forgiving him for hurting MY feelings! I told him that I wasn't ready to talk about it and crashed.

He apologized again this morning and we talked about it and I forgave him. I hope that he understands how I feel now and doesn't do it again.

And I REALLY hope that I can make it through the day without falling asleep at my desk... or on the freeway!

ETA: If you all wouldn't mind, could you please add my friend LB to your prayers? I think she could use some cosmic hugs and good thoughts today. Thanks!

Does your baby do this?

Little has started growling at everything!

Why does he do this?

Maybe NOT normal

I had my annual check up this morning (I know...yay) and it turns out that what I thought was normal after-the-baby stuff may be not so normal after all. My PA was running down her list of questions and the more she asked, the more it sounds like I'm anemic! I'm tired (REALLY tired, even when Little has had a good night of sleep), I'm losing my hair, my hands and lips are super dry, I'm always thirsty, and I have mild constipation.

See? It all sounds like stuff that would happen after a baby, right?

Not so ladies! Not so. Especially when it's not just one or two things, but all of it together. So they took a couple vials of blood to make sure that's what it is. I should have the results back in a day or two. I'm actually hoping that I am anemic so that I can take the iron pills (or whatever I need) and make all the craziness stop. And maybe keep what's left of my hair!

Some cool. Some not so cool.

I'm really tired, so I'm finding it hard to construct a decent paragraph. Bear with me.

It seems that Little has made a liar out of me. Or maybe it's just my own actions coming back to bite me in the ass. I've read about the much-feared "blog about it" jinx, but I didn't think it would happen to me. Ah, how naive I was! Ever since the day after my Awesome Sleeper entry, he's decided that he's too cool for sleep. He wouldn't nap all weekend. He was awake for literally the.entire.day. It's also impossible for me to put him down for the night. He'll be totally crashed in my arms, but the second I lay him down in his crib, his eyes pop open and he's awake again. And I mean AWAKE awake; like slept-for-hours-awake. I don't get it. He's obviously exhausted; yawning, rubbing eyes, the whole nine, but he won't just go to sleep! I had to bring him into bed with us last night because it was 11:30 and the crazy kid was still all bright eyed and bushy tailed. I tricked him to sleep by nursing him lying down. It seems to be the only thing that works. But forget moving him. He will not tolerate being moved to his crib. So he spent the night with us and again decided that he HAD to eat at 2:30. And again at 4:00. ::blinks bleary eyes::

I took Friday off to take Little to the doctor. He's had a really gross sounding cough and a runny nose. So the Ped checks him out and says he has an ear infection in his right ear. I was shocked, he didn't seem to be in any pain at all; wasn't pulling on his ear or anything. So now he has to take amoxicillin twice a day for 10 days to clear it up. We're also supposed to keep up with the humidifier in his room and raise his mattress up so he can be a little elevated to help clear up the congestion.

My parents came over yesterday to watch the Laker game with us ::blocks out memory of the awful game:: and as my mother is rocking him to sleep, he sticks his thumb in his mouth and goes to town on it. He's never done that before! Multiple fingers in the mouth, sure, but never his thumb! Call me a mean mom, but I took it away. My own teeth are messed up because my parents let me suck my thumb; I don't want Little's to get messed up too. Earlier in the day he actually held his bottle. It was only for a minute, but he did it! I tried to capture the moment on camera, but of course, I was foiled again. Darn observant baby who stops doing whatever cute thing he was doing the moment the camera comes out!

I might have to make a trip to see my doc pretty soon. I think I may have a plugged duct. Talk about ouchies!

And finally, I just need to whine for a minute about how much I HATE my job. 'Cause I really do. I hate it with an all consuming passion the heat of a thousand firey suns. My boss sucks; she's probably one of the most passive-agressive people I've ever encountered. I'm not supposed to so much as look at my phone unless I'm on break or at lunch (I don't give a shit about this one, that phone will always be on in case of baby emergency). My wardrobe is being scrutinized like never before. It is now considered "unprofessional" to wear my Laker jersey on casual Friday even though it was perfectly fine for the last three seasons! I could gouge someone's eyes out for that one. Just point me to the person responsible. Oh, and we can't forget that they've blocked access to my favorite internet sites. For this, they shall never be forgiven.

K, I'm done whining. I just gotta remember that I'll be able to walk away from this place forever in just 86 days. And I'm gonna wear my Lakers jersey on my last day, I don't care if it's Friday or Monday! They can just kiss my little tanned patootie!

5 Months!

My little guy is 5 months (and 1 day) old! Where has the time gone? Let's see... since he didn't have a well baby check up this month, I guess I'll just do a milestone update.

• He's a lot more talkative! He wakes up in the morning and will hold a 10 minute conversation with his daddy while getting dressed for the day.
• He'll look at you if you call his name.
• He laughs at everything! Especially his goofy daddy who will play peek-a-boo with him all night if I don't remind him that the little guy has to go to bed.
• He takes his "solids" like a champ! He's tried all of the stage 1 vegetables. His favorite is peas. We're giving him bananas right now and surprisingly, he's not much of a fan.
• He's refusing to nap. Not such a big deal for me during the day because he's at daycare, but I really feel the effects when I try to put him down for the night. On days when he hasn't slept well, it's definitely a struggle.
• He's still working on perfecting the belly-to-back roll over. He doesn't do it much; usually when he gets fed up with tummy time. He's tried back-to-belly a few times, but gets stuck about halfway. It's so funny to watch!
• He's more interested in the myriad of toys that surround him. His favorite is this guy: He jitters when you pull on him and makes a rattle sound. My Little doesn't go anywhere without his Phlump (my made up word for elephant that I've used since I was little).
• He can almost sit up! He's still very wobbly, so we have to keep him balanced, but he can keep himself in a seated position without tipping forward.

He's been sleeping in his own room for a few weeks now. I can't tell you the difference it's made in the quality of sleep for all of us! We were a co-sleeping family before where *gasp* he slept in bed with us! Dun dun duuuun! Every movement from MyLovf or myself would wake him up and he'd decide that he was hungry again. There's nothing to jostle him in his crib, so he sleeps for much longer. When he does wake up, he'll fuss until one of us goes in to get him, then he'll see your face coming over the rail and he'll crack his huge gummy grin that melts your heart : )

I think that's all, though I'm sure I'm forgetting something. I've totally lost my memory... along with my hair. I've read it's fairly common to start losing your hair when your baby is about 3 months old, but this is absolutely ridiculous. If I rake my fingers through my hair I can pull out 10-15 strands at a time; every.singe.time. It's disgusting. And we won't even talk about the state of my shower drain. I miss many things about being pregnant, one of the biggest ones being the glorious pregnancy hair! ::sob::

MyLovf and I went and got the H1N1 vaccination yesterday. He developed a seriously stuffy nose and sore throat while I had a bit of nausea. I'm feeling normal this morning, but I think he's getting worse. How weird that we'd have such different reactions even though we got the same shot at the same time.

And lastly... Happy 5 Months to my birth date twin, Maura! Lovf you and little Lyla Anne! ;)

Thank You. Thank You. Thank You.

Only two defining forces have ever offered to die for you:
1. Jesus Christ.
2. The American G.I.
One died for your Soul, the other for your Freedom.
God Bless our Country and all who defend Her

I have a champion sleeper on my hands

Crossing my fingers that I don't jinx anything, but I have to rave about Little sleeping through the night! In his own room! Last night was the third night in a row that I got a full nights' sleep. I am a very happy mama these days! The only downside being my very full boobies. I hope they adjust to the new schedule soon, talk about uncomfortable!

Obviously, every baby is different, but here's what works for us:

• 4 oz bottle of breastmilk with a scoop of rice cereal mixed in when we get home.
• Eats "dinner" with us between 7:00 and 7:30; right now he's on peas.
• Bath time and PJs after dinner. Maybe a little baby massage thrown in for good measure.
• Cuddle time with daddy on the couch while they watch TV.
• Asleep between 8:30 and 9:30. He's nursing to sleep, which I know will have to change in the not-too-distant future. But it's all good for right now!

I might have to try a couple of times to get him down, but he's usually out no later than 10 o'clock. He's been sleeping till around 4:30 which works perfectly for me. I'll feed him, he'll go back to sleep (!), and then I get up for the day at 5:00. MyLovf gets him up for the day at 6:00, changes his diaper, gets him dressed, straps him into his carseat and we're out the door at 6:15... and then he falls asleep on the way!

Yesterday, he was awake most of the day. He just did not want to nap! He fell asleep in the car on the way home and did.not.wake.up until MyLovf pulled him out of his seat at 10:30pm (yes, I let him sleep in there, I'm a horrible mother, blah blah blah). I changed him and fed him and he went right back down! I was amazed. That's something like 13 hours of sleep last night, and his daddy had to wake him up this morning; who knows how long he would've gone if we hadn't bugged him!

I'm praying that my awesome little sleeper stays awesomly sleeping! I have so much time to catch up on laundry, the dishes, dusting, my crochet projects... the list goes on. It's great : )

Little Monkey lovfs peas!

Only a couple of days late!

Here's my Little in his Halloween costume. We didn't trick-or-treat, we just went over to my parents' house and hung out.

Here he is playing with his candy bucket!

Happy little monkey : )

Oh yes... I was a giant banana. LMAO

Little got his first taste of peas on Halloween night. He LOVFED them! I was so surprised when he ate the entire jar!

He tried sweet potatoes the week before, but didn't like them as much. We had to throw most of that jar away. Next week... pears!

Nursing Strike

Forth day in. Negotiations are in progress...

Little seems to do fine in the evenings and at night, but for some reason, he absolutely refuses to nurse during the day. I cover him up to minimize visual distractions and we're always somewhere quiet. He pulls off and fusses until I put the boob away. Once he's uncovered and standing, he's all smiles again. I just don't know what to do. I would hate to have to skip visits to the daycare in favor of pumping at the office, but I'm afraid for my supply. It took so long and was so hard to build!

If any of my faithful readers have any suggestions on how to get him to nurse, I would be most obliged. Otherwise, I'm going to have to cut back to one visit per day and spend my other two breaks pumping. That would SUCK. But again, I'm remiss to mess with my barely-covering-it supply, so I guess I'll do it if I have to. : (